YOUR APOLOGY

Dear Reader,

We would like to sincerely apologize for offending your delicate sensibilities.

We should have been more aware that your meaningless life, which is based on perpetuating your permanent sense of victimhood would be rocked by a demonstration of the basic truths which you perpetually seek to avoid. We did not mean to cause you to wander the aisles of your local Wal-Mart in search for whatever ancient wisdom may be hidden within the nutritional labels of snack foods imported from China.

It was not our intent to cause you irreversable mental anguish, and we regret very deeply that you have decided that going on an exclusive diet of fried rodents is the best means to stop the voices in your head, resulting in a weight gain of fifty pounds.

We do understand that it will take years of therapy to recover from this traumatic experience, but look on the bright side here. Your patronage of a new-age psychic for weekly therapeutic toenail readings will make a meaningful contribution to our local economy and ensure the continued flow of tax revenues in support of fashion consultants for transgendered public school employees.

With our most sincere apologies,
The Staff At Black Velvet Bruce Li

PS: If you feel that this apology is insufficient, please hit the refresh button on your browser in order to receive another.