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We’re From The Government, And We’re Here To Help
By Greg L | 9 December 2008 | National Politics | 13 Comments
After a rash of reports of children’s toys being imported from China containing hazardous materials or posing other safety concerns, Congress decided they had to do something to protect the public. In yet another classic case of unfathomable government stupidity, anyone who makes small quantities of hand-made toys or other children’s products and sells them over the internet will be going out of business this summer pursuant to the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008. Yep, we’re now going to be safe from that Grandma who knits doll clothes to sell on E-Bay. If she does so, now she can get slammed with a civil fine not to exceed fifteen million dollars.
Congress is such a bunch of complete morons.
In attempting to protect the American public from huge manufacturers in China who have been stuffing cynide and whatnot into baby formula, pet food and children’s toys, they crafted a law so broad it puts everyone who might make any product intended for use by children under the age of twelve and which crosses state lines, no matter what it is and regardless of whether you sell three a year or three million a year to the same standards. For every children’s product and toy that is manufactured or distributed, product safety testing by an approved third party laboratory is required. And by everything, I mean absolutely everything. No exceptions whatsoever.
For that Chinese manufacturer of millions of “Poison Patty” dolls, that testing requirement is a minor annoyance that might add a fraction of a penny to the cost of each unit. For that mom-and-pop shop that makes fifteen varieties of toy cars and might gross $50,000 of revenue a year, that testing requirement will destroy their business. The effect of requiring Grandma to submit each doll sweater she makes to a testing laboratory for safety testing before it’s sold on E-Bay means Grandma’s little hobby business is over. You might come to the conclusion, if you were a just wee bit cynical, that in the wake of this huge Chinese product safety scandal a bunch of lobbyists figured out a way to outlaw all Chinese competitors and sold it to Congress under the guise of protecting little Sally from keeling over dead after giving her beloved “Poison Patty” doll from China a kiss.
Call me cynical here, because this is hugely beyond stupid. Explaining this sheer idiocy by any means other than corruption is a task bordering on impossible.
Here we are looking at an economic recession, which historically is ameliorated by small business entrepreneurs who finally come to the realization that government is only getting in the way and innovate their own way out of financial difficulties. We also have an increasing number of folks who are seeking to make ends meet by applying their talents in their spare time to earning a little extra money. Our government’s response is to wipe out a whole segment of small business, and give competitive advantage to foreign importers with a history of selling dangerous and adulterated products in our country. They can easily afford mandatory product testing. Alternative sources can’t, because we don’t have domestic children’s product manufacturing in the United States anymore. Look at the aisles in Wal-Mart if you’re unsure about this.
Little Sally better enjoy those unique hand-made Christmas toys her mommy got her on E-Bay this year, because next year there aren’t going to be any. Congress decided to help protect us, again.
The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes the genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources where focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.
We’re just hurtling towards idiocracy.
The opinions expressed here are solely the views of the author, and not representative of the position of any organization, political party, doughnut shop, knitting guild, or waste recycling facility, but may be correctly attributed to the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. If anything in the above article has offended you, please click here to receive an immediate apology.
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13 Comments
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I lOVE MY COUNTRY, IT’S MY GOVERNMENT I FEAR!
“The effect of requiring Grandma to submit each doll sweater she makes to a testing laboratory for safety testing before it’s sold on E-Bay means Grandma’s little hobby business is over.”
Of course you would choose that as an example! I make doll sweaters as a hobby and a local shop has been persuading me to sell them there. Guess I’ll be okay as long as I don’t use Ebay or sell at out-of-state raft fairs. Thanks for the heads-up, Greg.
China will love that the competition is finally being eliminated.
What congresscritters voted for this?
As is usually the case, Uncle Sugar won’t punish those who are responsible (most obvious answer), or double/triple the number of Customs Inspectors that check these shipments (too much money and man hours). God forbid that Wal-Mart not receive it’s cheap plastic (poisonous) s#!t to distribute to us at low prices, every day.
Johnson,
don’t we buy all that crap?
Who benefited from the stimulus package of 08 - the chinese - we borrowed money from the chinese to send to people, so that they would buy more cheap chinese crap, and sent the money back to china. All because we do not want to pay living wages here in the US.
The cretins in congress are making the case for a revolution. They will not be satisfied until the entire nation becomes Dhimmis to their continual grab for power. It is too bad the plane that went into the Pentagon didn’t go into the Capitol and waste the bastards.
Not to worry, this will probably be enforced about as well as immigration laws.
Pat.Herve-
Exactly my point. As far as living wages go, does an auto worker deserve $75 an hour? There’s got to be a happy middle ground.
JM said on 10 Dec 2008 at 9:24 am: Flag comment
“Of course you would choose that as an example! I make doll sweaters as a hobby and a local shop has been persuading me to sell them there. Guess I’ll be okay as long as I don’t use Ebay or sell at out-of-state raft fairs. Thanks for the heads-up, Greg.”
Do the dolls get cold?
To that question my daughter would respond with an emphatic “yes”. According to her, dolls also get hungry, sleepy, hurt feelings, various illnesses, and sometimes, angry.
If a little sweater ameliorates one of more of these conditions, it’s worth it.
If you buy cheap cr#p from China, you take chances. Why can’t Congress just accept that? Retailers pull the toys when a problem is discovered because if they do not, no one will shop there. Why not let the marketplace regulate itself???
I read somewhere that the House passed it 424 to 1 and the Senate 83 to 9.
I agree that China will most definitely prosper from this!
Wouldn’t it make sense to have the materials available to crafters that had the lead content listed? That way we have a CHOICE!!!