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Your Chance To Approach True Greatness

By Greg L | 30 October 2009 | Humor & Satire, Manassas City | 6 Comments

Who says conservatives have no appreciation for the arts?  Well, to prove the naysayers wrong, I bring you two great poets this evening for you, one from old and one quite new, one well recognized, and one not yet so.  Readers can judge for themselves which of these most deserves the great honor that one has already achieved, which I’ll speak more about after you’ve had a chance to drink in all this tremendous poetic goodness.

First, the world recognized William Topaz McGonagall:

The Tay Bridge Disaster
William Topaz McGonagall (1879)

Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay!
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That ninety lives have been taken away
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

’Twas about seven o’clock at night,
And the wind it blew with all its might,
And the rain came pouring down,
And the dark clods seem’d to frown,
And the Demon of the air seem’d to say –
“I’ll blow down the Bridge of Tay.”

When the train left Edinburgh
The passengers’ hearts were light and felt no sorrow,
But Boreas blew a terrific gale,
Which made their hearts for to quail,
And many of the passengers with fear did say –
“I hope God will send us safe across the Bridge of Tay.”

But when the train came near to Wormit Bay,
Boreas he did loud and angry bray,
And shook the central girders of the Bridge of Tay
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

So the train sped on with all its might,
And Bonnie Dundee soon hove in sight,
And the passengers’ hearts felt light,
Thinking they would enjoy themselves on the New Year,
With their friends at home they lov’d most dear,
And wish them all a happy New Year.

So the train mov’d slowly along the Bridge of Tay,
Until it was about midway,
Then the central girders with a crash gave way,
And down went the train and passengers into the Tay!
The Storm Fiend did loudly bray,
Because ninety lives had been taken away,
On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

As soon as the catastrophe came to be known
The alarm from mouth to mouth was blown,
And the cry rang out all o’er the town,
Good Heavens! the Tay Bridge is blown down,
And a passenger train from Edinburgh,
Which fill’d all the people’s hearts with sorrow,
And made them for to turn pale,
Because none of the passengers were sav’d to tell the tale
How the disaster happen’d on the last Sabbath day of 1879,
Which will be remember’d for a very long time.

It must have been an awful sight,
To witness in the dusky moonlight,
While the Storm Fiend did laugh, and angry did bray,
Along the Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay,
Oh! ill-fated Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay,
I must now conclude my lay
By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,
That your central girders would not have given way,
At least many sensible men do say,
Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,
At least many sensible men confesses,
For the stronger we our houses do build,
The less chance we have of being killed.

Now, a newer poet, someone who will actually be reading some of her work at the Manassas Museum this Sunday:

There Is No Courage Here
Katherine Mecurio Gotthardt

Someone said I am brave.
I am not.
I am merely angry,
raving at injustice,
taking on more pain
than I should. This
is not bravery. It is

They say haters have been brave,
have tapped their courage to speak.
I say only cowards name people roaches,
coddling plans to exterminate,
actually organize studies, reports, propaganda
to prove immigrant women are breeders.

They say anchor babies are weapons,
they bring guns to 7-11’s,
intimidate, persecute, hand out fear
as if this county were a bread and circus.

Circus it is, though,
when we watch what happened
at the dais–the shrieking
rhetoric, arid tongues
lapping up petty power,
the sucking up to white supremacy.
No, there is no courage there.

Someone said calling them cowards
is goading, calling hatred
what it is only asks for trouble.
What do they think? Do they
believe we have not been censored,
that freedom is not for the few?

Anyone who rages against them goads.
Anyone who disagrees jeopardizes
personal safety, anyone who dares
defy their universe makes a threat to self.
No, there is no goading here.

You, Mr. and Mr. lovers of hate,
you, Mrs. hypocrite,
you, sycophants of despicable souls–
God does not condemn the name caller.

God condemns destroyers.

So which one of these poets do you think is most deserving of the award for which William Topaz McGonnagal was not only was the inaugural awardee, but now which is named after him?  Which poet really should receive that greatest honor of being named the worst poet in all of history?

Probably, it would make the most sense to consider the full body of Gotthardt’s work before making that determination, to be fair.  This is not something to be decided lightly.  Because of the largesse of the taxpayers, you can at no cost to you whatsoever have a chance to bask in the greatness of our own local masters of prose, who rival the true giants of the craft from old.  Make sure you thank the City of Manassas, Prince William County, and the Commonwealth of Virginia for making this opportunity available to you because of their generous support, because brushes with such greatness are without a doubt among the rarest gifts this world has to offer us.

The opinions expressed here are solely the views of the author, and not representative of the position of any organization, political party, doughnut shop, knitting guild, or waste recycling facility, but may be correctly attributed to the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. If anything in the above article has offended you, please click here to receive an immediate apology.

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  1. FED UP said on 30 Oct 2009 at 10:18 pm:
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    There Is No Courage Here……HOW VERY APPROPRIATE a title for a whackjob like her……no courage, but plenty of sickness in the head.

  2. Conservative 2 said on 30 Oct 2009 at 10:49 pm:
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    Katherine,is the last person we need to hear about. What a dingbat!

    Her and Phdee would make a good pair.Phdee has nothing better to do than write nasty remarks several times a day on the Opinon Page. She evens get into a conversation with her self.
    She must be losing it.And has no manners or ethics as she’s so far Left,I look for her to Fall.

    She has got to be a very miserable person,as she is describing herself with all those Adjectives.

  3. DPortM said on 31 Oct 2009 at 4:31 am:
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    Greg, I have to disagree with you here.

    To infer that one of these poets is great? I think not.

    Extremely delusional, full of brevity, fabrication, false allegations. The great illness is solely an illness of that poet’s mind.

    [Ed note: great, in the sense of being internationally recognized for a long, long time — as the worst poet in history. Maybe the new rival for that honor will gain that same level of “greatness.”]

  4. Anonymous said on 31 Oct 2009 at 11:01 am:
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    Well I guess Gotthardt is guilty of what she blames others for, and that is dividing a community. It seems all has quieted down on the illegal alien front except for Fernandez’s follies, but she wants to still drag out the battle axe. To her, look you lost, your people fled to MD, now get over it!

  5. Barbara Munsey said on 31 Oct 2009 at 11:12 am:
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    I saw this advertised in Loudoun as a community event, and I thought it was really about the Civil War.


  6. Chauncey Gardiner said on 31 Oct 2009 at 12:53 pm:
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    Poor Goat Turd.
    Prozac won’t kick in.
    Must pay to be published as
    the leaves turn crimson.

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