The Prince William County Schools are very proud to let taxpayers know that this is “School Board Appreciation Month,” an opportunity for public employees to devote their efforts towards praising and honoring the politicians that oversee them. This month they take time out of their busy schedules (that are, as they consistently report each budget season so chock-full of requirements that they can’t possibly work at educating our children for even five more minutes without a pay raise) to direct their artistic capabilities towards creating posters to remind everyone how much they appreciate the members of the school board, especially the ones that represent their district.
Unfortunately, they fail to exhibit the proper revolutionary zeal in their efforts.
Personally, I think most of these artisans need some remedial instruction in how to create good propaganda. This falls short of the mark that this type of taxpayer-financed accolades towards elected officials typically reaches. If you’re going to make public employees craft visual propaganda honoring their political leaders, you need to look at the masters of the art. They really knew how to pull this off:
This poster of happy children giving an adoring Joseph Stalin bouquets of flowers is a classic demonstration of how you create a real propaganda poster on the taxpayer dime. Certainly folks like the PWEA must be aware of the pinnacle of propaganda artistry that the Soviets reached, as the philosophy they exhibit during public meetings about the dictatorship of the proletariat, the role of the intelligentsia, and the supremacy of the state seems cut from the same cloth as 1940’s Soviet philosophy. If you’re not bringing the art along with communism, well, you’re really missing out. The art was the best part.
In this propaganda piece lauding Brentsville Representative Gil Trenum, teachers entirely missed the mark. If the piece was made to look as if it had actually been created by elementary students it might pass because children and propaganda naturally go together, but unfortunately it is just another uninspired piece by a member of the working class that fails to instill the proper awe and inspiration of the subject. If you really want to create a propaganda piece that will make the subject’s heart fill with enough greed and pride to actually reward the effort being made, you need to work harder. That effort is for the children, of course, so no slacking off and being mediocre is allowed.
Now this is how you do it. Take notes, you glorious workers of the Nokesville Elementary collective, who relentlessly march forward to victory against all imperialists and Mencheviks! Here the fuhrer is clearly seen as being the sole inspiration for all of the Hitler Youth, with them both looking off-frame in the same direction, and building the legacy that will ensure the success of the thousand-year Reich. I’m sure when der fuhrer saw this one, he needed to make a quick trip to the badezimmer to clean up a little bit, you know.
If you really wanted to make Gil Trenum’s hear fill with pride, you’d do something like this and the time the budget gets finalized I have no doubt he’d slip in a dozen or two high-tech computerized “white boards” at an installation cost of $20,000 a piece for each and every one of your kindergarten classrooms so they can revel in “Hank The Squid Counts School Board Members” in full high-definition. Show the child whose future is being carefully directed by the all-knowing, all-powerful and invincible School Board member, and the next time you ask for iPads for the classroom, he will jump up and shout “and they will all have my picture on them! Brilliant!”
Although there are plenty more opportunities for constructive critique here, I’ll close with one last example.
Excuse me, but doesn’t this look to you like some sort of generic poster where the message of the day (in this case “we really appreciate our school board”) just gets plastered in the middle of the poster, and each week they replace the message? That is no way to properly execute propaganda. It must have emotion! It must incorporate a hero! There must be something to inspire a viewer to feel or act in some way, and just sticking a different “thought bubble” (what, cannot the Cheetah Pride be spoken, if not proudly shouted towards all the capitalists to instill genuine fear in their hearts?) on the same poster that next week may remind viewers to properly inform their teachers if any of their parents exhibit counter-revolutionary behaviors?
If you’re looking for emotion and heroes, look no further than the revolutionary zeal of our North Korean comrades.
Yankee imperialists slaughtering toddlers is just chock-full of heroes, emotion, and a tremendous opportunity to inspire not just political leaders, but the proletariat as a whole to rise up and lay waste whoever the enemy of the day happens to be. Just think how happy the School Board would be not to have to deal with those pesky Math Investigations counter-revolutionaries, or the persistent sniping of those in the proletariat who have the temerity to question what the glorious leadership plans to do with their children! Use this opportunity to inspire a true revolutionary zeal, work harder to accomplish a noble goal, and Dear Leader Walts and his wise counselors of the School Board will surely lavish upon you all honor and glory!
Next year I will expect to see greater effort from the Schools to properly create the quality of propaganda that our politicians truly deserve. With an operating budget of $1.2 Billion in FY 2013, we can certainly glorify our politicians far better than this!
The opinions expressed here are solely the views of the author, and not representative of the position of any organization, political party, doughnut shop, knitting guild, or waste recycling facility, but may be correctly attributed to the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. If anything in the above article has offended you, please click here to receive an immediate apology.
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