I really appreciate it when the local media outlets do such a fine job of promoting the communities they serve as such a wonderful place to live, work, and raise a family. In this installment of “What A Great Place To Live” we turn to Manassas Park Patch which is happy to let us know that there are now TWO — count ‘em — two different businesses in the area that will teach women the fine art of pole dancing. Readers even get a video showing the monumental talents of our local instructors, shot by a very enthusiastic Patch reporter.
Well, just who wouldn’t be excited to get paid to report on the pole dancing magnificence of our local community?
I don’t harbor any illusions whatsoever that this kind of instructional program could possibly exist without significant public support, but I am somewhat disappointed that Patch neglected to tell us about the federal employment job retraining programs that certainly help to make this valuable resource available. If you happen to be a young woman in the Manassas area, perhaps even a single mother, and find yourself struggling to find work there’s no doubt in my mind at all that some sort of tuition reimbursement program is available to help you realize your dreams and set you on the path of a very prosperous future. If you happen to already be earning an income in this exciting industry, there’s no doubt tuition would be considered a tax-deductible business expense.
Manassas is now the capital of pole dancing instruction. I am so proud I feel my heart is close to bursting.
The opinions expressed here are solely the views of the author, and not representative of the position of any organization, political party, doughnut shop, knitting guild, or waste recycling facility, but may be correctly attributed to the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. If anything in the above article has offended you, please click here to receive an immediate apology.
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