Oh, Tom Davis, you’re such a naughty boy.
Threatening campaign contributors that aren’t supporting Jeannemarie Davis but are instead contributing to other campaigns using your corporate email account is just so, well, cheeky. What a cad you are! Did you really mean it when you tell them that they won’t ever get any business from Deloitte if they support someone else because you pull all the strings on how contracts are awarded at Deloitte, or was this just another one of those endearing little stories you like to tell people? You are just so entertaining when you put on that bad boy persona and pretend you’re going to rip people’s guts out and fling their entrails all over the place. Oh, how you make me laugh!
I’m sure everyone at Deloitte who is conducting that unfortunate, but unavoidable, internal disciplinary review regarding your conduct will just laugh and smile at your antics, just as I am. In no time everything will be back to normal, your darling little wife will once again have a position of political power, and you’ll be able to play those little Ghengis Khan games you love so much to your heart’s content.
Oh, and Tom, I did receive that package containing my child’s severed finger and of course I’ll be supporting your lovely wife in this upcoming election. Will she be coming home soon?
The opinions expressed here are solely the views of the author, and not representative of the position of any organization, political party, doughnut shop, knitting guild, or waste recycling facility, but may be correctly attributed to the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. If anything in the above article has offended you, please click here to receive an immediate apology.
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