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Sweatin’ With The Candidate

By Greg L | 1 August 2013 | 31st HOD District, Humor & Satire | 2 Comments

I saw on facebook that Jeremy McPike was going to have a campaign event at the Dale City Volunteer Fire Department tonight that was billed as “Zumba With The Candidate”, and I just wasn’t going to miss this.  I’ve never seen a candidate dress up in a spandex outfit and lead an exercise class before, and I figured I’d probably never get an opportunity like this again.

Some things really are a once-in-a-lifetime event, and this sure looked like one of them.

I get out to Dale City a little late and find about 40 people aerobicizing or whatever it’s called in a half-darkened room with McPike staff standing at the back of the room wearing decidedly non-exercise style clothes, watching the event in a fairly disinterested way.  Boy, do I feel let down.  There’s not a thread of spandex on the guy as far as I can tell, but I’m not really that interested in looking all that closely.

Before I get a chance to bitterly complain about the obvious false advertising at work here some guy comes up and drags me out of the room for “the talk.”  He recognized me and wants to know what I’m doing.  It’s a campaign event that was advertised on facebook and I wanted to check it out, I explain.  I’d never heard of anything like this, and I’m really curious.  No matter.  This has somehow morphed into a private event and they’re just going to have to ask me to leave.

I hadn’t been in the place for five minutes, had no a chance to talk to the candidate to find out about what he’s doing with Zumba and where his spandex is, and now they’re kicking me out of a county fire station.  Dang, the Democrat Party seems all messed up these days.

They lure me to an event with extravagant promises of great spectacle which they don’t deliver at all and then they throw me out of the place right after I arrive.

If I told them I was a homosexual or something, would they welcome me then?



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2 Comments

  1. What! said on 1 Aug 2013 at 5:09 pm:
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    You’ve been thrown out of much better places than that!

  2. Citizen-Veteran said on 1 Aug 2013 at 10:17 pm:
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    hah hah! Sounds like the School of Obama Thugery! I didn’t know we were building Chicago in Dale City. Of course, how does one tell the difference between street criminals and Democrats these days? They vote for the same candidates.

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