So tonight, in honor of Jesus Christ being tortured, nailed to a cross, and sacrificing His life in atonement for your sins, you can go out and party in the City of Manassas as part of “Founder’s Day.” There’s really nothing more fitting to recognize the horror and descent into hell that Jesus experienced on your behalf than knocking back a few at a beer Garden, participating in trivia contests, or getting a book signed by the author.
Yes, I understand that not everyone is a Christian, but there’s utterly no way I can imagine an observant Christian attending such a thing tonight.
The opinions expressed here are solely the views of the author, and not representative of the position of any organization, political party, doughnut shop, knitting guild, or waste recycling facility, but may be correctly attributed to the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. If anything in the above article has offended you, please click here to receive an immediate apology.
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